I Don't Want to Be Crazy

PUSH, the publisher of this book, is dedicated to new authors and getting their voices out. Some of the books are fiction some non fiction and some are a mix of the two. The goal is for the stories to sound real and for the reader to believe what they are reading. PUSH is always looking for new writers and encourages anybody to submit their own work. They are having a 2009 PUSH novel writing contest. These are to rules and regulations. These books are heartbreaking, interesting, insightful, and very easy to relate to.

I Don't Want to Be Crazy is one of the books that I have read from this publisher. It is a poetry memoir written by Samantha Schultz. In this book she takes you on a journey that you feel like you are taking yourself. You become Samantha and experience her words as if they were your own. She tells the story of her terrifying panic attacks that never seem to go away. Her life resolves around the question of when is the next one coming. The way Schultz tells her story leaves the reader feeling her anxiety and relief and happiness.

The story starts with Samantha excited and getting ready to move on to college. She is ready to start a new life all on her own. When Schultz gets to college everything goes great for awhile. Until she is in the middle of a lecture something starts to happen. She feels like her hands are shaking uncontrollably. She looks around to see if anyone notices but no one does. Then she thinks she is going crazy. She gets really hot and her heart is beating fast. She feels like on the inside she is going crazy but has to keep her outside composed. She leaves the lecture hall and doesn't go back. This happens several times within the next few days and Samantha decides to go to the school psychiatrist. She gets prescribed medication but still lives with the fear of another attack happening.

The book goes through Samantha's life and talks about how she copes with these attacks. She talks about the guys she hooks up with and all of the friends she makes in college. The story follows her all the way through her college career and then afterwards also. I loved the way this book was written and it was very easy to read. I couldn't put it down and i didn't unless i absolutely had to (because i had to walk to my next class).

Here are some titles of other books published by PUSH
Kissing the Rain - Kevin Brooks

Martyn Pig - Kevin Brooks
The Dating Diaries - Kristen Kemp

I Will Survive - Kristen Kemp
Cut - Patricia McCormick

Crashing - Chris Wooding

Kerosene - Chris Wooding

Pure Sunshine - Brian James

You Remind Me of You - Eireann Corrigan